SDS and social worker giving no information

Hi just new so please bare with me,
We got assessed in April 22 for SDS package was awarded 1st August 22.
As I have 2 children being assessed one of the assessments had to go to a panel as apparently it was significant?!?
Both packages were finalised on the 2nd of October 2022. I chose option 1 but if I’m honest none of the options were communicated or explained to me very well considering I was in a mental breakdown…
I was told by the social worker who did the assessment that I would need to set up bank accounts for both, and it would be set out what I could spend the money on.
For my daughter it was easy as we just continue to pay for horse riding with the SDS money. ( that’s all her package allows for ).
My son got a bigger package but doesn’t do any activities due not being able.
The social worker we had told me it would go towards a yearly gym membership, a weekly hour with a asn PT and Asn football all of which she would set up. It’s now January and I haven’t heard from her since November…
No money has cleared yet.
I’m struggling massively with 2 Asn children.
School on my behalf contacted social services and told them I was struggling and could they help me?!
I got a call today from my usual social workers boss who basically ranted at me for not knowing what option I picked and after he repeated what option I picked to me 3 times and told me there is no way the social worker would be helping me with activities or setting them up as that’s not the option I picked I’m at a loss. How do I find ASN activities for my son in our area? I’ve done the usual internet search but there was very little… She was supposed to help us with getting charities involved etc and nothing. We weren’t even given any paperwork about the SDS and what it all entails, which I have found on the internet so it does exist.
Should the social worker have done more?
Am I feeling this way and it’s justified or am I just upset at the way the social worker spoke to me today?!
He was rude and very unhelpful…
It’s all over the social work record that I had quite a significant mental break in August 22 so why would he think it was acceptable to speak to me the way he did? When all I’ve done is ask for help?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are in desperate need of a break from our children but were told we couldn’t use the SDS money for respite or babysitters as that’s a different aspect of SDS and would need to become employers.
I don’t have the brain power for that…

Help a tired scared and stressed out mum.


Hi Siobhan @MotherShiv

Thank you for visiting the forum and I’m really sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having sorting out your son and daughter’s support.

I think the best thing will be to put you in touch with your local Independent Support Organisation who will hopefully be able to give you some advice and support in your situation.

Are you happy to tell me where abouts in Scotland you live? If you prefer to message privately please contact me at