Parents Income - post 18 child

Hi, we are just at the early stage meeting about my son leaving school and the adult package for day centre / transport etc. Yesterday I was asked for financial details, obviously I am happy to give my son’s as it is about him and he will be 18 then. I was also asked for mine and my husbands, I refused to give those. We both work, and always have, so have never received any benefits or grants etc. I have always been told after 18 then our income doesn’t count. It made the meeting really stressful and I have worried all night. I refuse to give up our wages etc forever, that would never be the case for his siblings without disability. Please tell me if i am correct that they have no right to ask.

As a family carer I understand means tests are only relevant for the person to whom the service is for.
Therefore if the day service is provided as respite for you both, then the LA are entitled to assess your income to see if you are expected to contribute.
As your son is over 18 he is an adult in his own right.
I assume as a result of the adult care assessment, he was deemed unable to remain un supported in the family home whilst you are both at work so the day services have been put in place to provide him with adequate supervision under a duty of care for your son.
The day service has therefore been commissioned for your son so only his income should be assessed.

As far as I believe, once 18 then your son is no longer deemed as your ‘dependent’, so assessment is in his own right.